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Maybe there was no wayout."What do you want from me?" asked Penny."Remember." Why? Why do I need to remember that?" Purify." I can't. Please. I can't remember that. Isn't there some other way?Any other way?" Pain."They would touch me. Reaching out for me, their hands finding me in thedark, I felt wanted for the first time. I felt seen. I felt beautifullike Sheri. I liked to make them feel good, to take care of them. Ilike to make people feel good. They would be talking, babbling likeschool girls, but when they got quiet, late at night, they would lookinto my eyes and calm down. Their breathing would become heavy andragged. They would fall asleep staring into my eyes.Penny opened her eyes. "Please," she begged. "No more." Remember."My next door neighbor's father worked at a salvage company. One day, hebrought home a barrel of porn books. I loved books. I read everything Icould when I was alone. I was always alone. The barrel was like atreasure chest to me. One of my friends read them. The next few minutes were an agonising wait. I’ve never been particularly patient, and I was too distracted even to take notice of the secretive inner sanctum known as the staffroom: somewhere no student ever enters and lives to tell the tale. Dan arrived soon after, and I half expected an ear-bashing for bending rules. But he had other priorities just then, so I went back to being impatient.Five minutes later it was all over. Harry had been found, and he was safe. The all clear codeword was given, standing down everyone that wasn’t already here. The off-duty guys who’d been called in would get very nice bonuses at the end of the month. If nothing else, it had been a useful test of a system designed to work with military precision.When Ewan reappeared with Harry at his side, I noticed that my friend was wearing PE kit, which was odd. I didn’t ask questions; I just grabbed him for a hug, joined by Pete and Tommy. I could feel wetness on my neck and knew Harry was quietly crying. I was.
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